Yo, it’s Luke.
I just got back from Miami. That place is pretty darn good. Relaxed people who know how to have fun. I recommend.
That said, I’m back with a classic Notes To Self edition that you know and love: 5 noteworthy ideas & things I learned about last week. Click on the brown links to dive further on that topic.
1. This Weekend’s Vibe
“Do you smile at the pretty girls, compliment the older ladies, or wink at the moon? How about the birds, when they sing, do you whistle back in tune?
Or what about when driving, do you have a smooth touch & no fear of pushing your car to its limits? In business, do you dare to demand what you want? Are you bold with your plans? Does risk excite your spirit?
In conversation, do you say what you mean & speak with your chest? Do you deliver the risky joke without qualms who will take offense?
Do you stroll with your head held high - do your steps feel weightless? When you stand, are you relaxed or are you tense?
Do you treat strangers like you’re reacquainting with an old friend? Do you ever dare to divulge your well kept secrets? Are you present, there in the moment, or are you living in your head?
Do you breathe romance into everything you do, see the beauty in the mundane, & leave a trail of unrelenting positivity wherever you venture? You see, flirting isn’t just what you do to have someone fall for you - it’s what a healthy spirit does when they’re in love with life, & I will continue flirting into the afterlife.”
“remember: in order to write, we first have to remember how to live. how to pause and pay attention to the tiniest details, the quietest moments, the space between people, what is felt instead of what is said. to write is to adjust the gaze to see beauty in almost anything.”
Living like a writer is beautiful because it adds texture to your life. You can do it and not even write!
I recently read this piece by Sasha on congruence, found myself highlighting a lot of it.
A great life is a flourishing one, and deep congruence is a necessary step. I think you'll like these notes:
“One reliable test to see whether you’re in a place of congruence is the existence of boredom. When you are in a state of congruence, at rest you don’t feel bored. Instead you feel peace. What needs to be done has been done or will be done, there is no need to flail against the silence.”
“Deep congruence requires accepting all of the stuff of your life, every particle of feeling. If you are highly congruent, you disown none of your experience. None of it. You agree with what you’re doing with your time. You accept the stubborn approach of death, the arbitrariness of your fortune, your unimportance on the cosmic timescale, your potential importance for the local environment, the emotions of you and the people around you, the resources you’ve squandered. What stops congruence from occurring are layers of denial that are unpleasant to pass through. Although congruence is a source of endless happiness, the path there can be devastating. To paraphrase a cliche, you may have to finally give up on experiencing a better past.”
“Incongruence is typically an important survival stage, as we take on the expectations of our parents and society, and hide the parts of us that aren’t supposed to appear in the classroom. The problem is that these splits are maintained and kept alive much longer than they need to be.”
“Relatedly, the best relationships create space for congruence—really unconditional welcome allows you to bring material out of the dusty basement”
“Congruent people compel us because they have little to prove”
“The program that generates wisdom is wandering through the wilderness, not trying to adopt the end state of a person who has wandered. Similarly, one potential consequence of congruence is “natural leadership,” but you can’t learn it from management books.”
“Seeking congruence can sound selfish. However, in practice, it rarely is. Given that our environments consist of others in pain, facing the totality of your experience and remaining self-serving requires being a real asshole. Most of us are less cruel than that, and capable of gradually moving towards increasingly skillful love for others. The highly congruent people I know tend to support everyone around them, in ways both obvious and not.”
Thanks for wanting to know more today than you did yesterday! If you liked this edition, send it over to a friend who would like it too 🤝
Cheers,